When I was eighteen I drifted
off the coast of Florida towards Heaven
drunk as Hell in an inner tube singing
"Good Vibrations" to myself.
Screaming from the sand,
my Mom woke me up.
That night my Dad asked me
if I got close. So I told him about
the Hawaiian girls and waterfalls and alabaster porticos and
laughing so high in a hot tub on the Rockies and the blue painted gate
and bending my knees and statues of saints and a fox in the night cutting his mouth on cactus.
He said it sounded nice, then bummed a cigarette
off the lady bartender, everything smelling like
A small plant
but with leaves thick and juicy.
“Where did you come from?”
“Where will you live?”
Simple clay pot and rocky soil.
Thorns unseen, only blood dripping
from the tip.
Red as Christmas on green leaves.
She knows she’ll only hear from me when
I’m drunk or high or lonely and it’s late.
In my mind she fights off sleep
with cigarettes smoked on the couch
and the scrolling TV Guide, waiting
for her phone to vibrate. The same way I wait
on the call from another.
Once she found a pair of panties
stippled with black roses
pressed between my mattress and
the wall. She giggled then laid
them neatly on my pillow, “someone
might want these back.” She knows there
is love like a letter sent with no return address.
I Call This One "Stoned Man Fills Pot With Water"
Clouds are glacial drool sucked up into the sky.
Floating lakes, purple and silver like
my Sacramento Kings t-shirt.
A stolen shirt that I stole hearts in,
those were happy times.
So fucked I fell and broke their necks and bodies
like a guitar where a couch should have been.
Put it on my tab.
Sun baked like a pizza on hot stones, my nipples
are the pepperonis. Godzilla rises
from the shimmering waters to take a bite.
I throw up everywhere and scream, "I’m sorry," breaking up
a piece of tree bark in my hands
tossing sappy shards into the wind.
When the dust storm comes at the end of the world
my last words will be, “I love yall.”
Until then, the timer has been going off for hours
and water bubbles above the rim. Time to put pasta in.
I could never make enough to fill me up.